Antics
by XxPandapride
Summary: A bunch of antics that Ymir and Christa do to each other with a sole camera in their possession.
1. ON: Cookies

_Bzzt._

"The _Ymirus Isaliaris_ is eating a bagel." Christa turned towards dramatically towards the cell phone in her hand, a dark mustache under her nose. She aimed the camera upwards, so we could see Ymir's face puffed up like a squirrel's cheeks, crumbs flecking her tanned face. "It is one of the many things that the _Ymrius_ eats on a regular basis. Be careful not to instigate it, for fear that it could eat you (out) instead."

"Chrishta, what are yoush doinsgh?" Ymir was a bit annoyed, her bronze eyes looking down onto the interesting activity the girl was now doing.

"It seems to have a reaction to our presence, but do not worry," The little blond girl said, putting a finger on the fake moustache, her fake English accent high pitched and kind of cute, that made Ymir NOT BLUSH AT ALL. "It will only attack once we glomp it, which I will not do. Unless it gives me the cookie jar on top of the fridge."

"Can't you take it yourself? There is a chair in the kitchen, ya know…" Ymir smiled, munched on another piece of the bread. "Or do you want me to help you?" She leaped onto Krista, and wrapped her arms around her, shoving her face in the girl's slender back.

"Gasp! It got us!" The video flickered a bit, shifting on the side. A brief look at Christa's face made it apparent that she was beaming.

"Rawwr." The woman muttered, kissing the girl's neck.

"In this situation- Hmm- there is one secret technique that was passed down the generations of masters to stop the _Ymirus_ of interrupting your voyage to cookies."

Christa turned around and her lips collided with Ymir's. The tall woman eyes widened and her freckled cheeks grew redder. There was an _hmpf_ of protestation as they both fell down in a clatter, the cell phone dropping off the girl's hand.

* * *

After a bit of fight, the squirming stopped. There were heavy pants heard and a few light steps, followed with the camera being picked up yet again.

"This can only be used once on the _Ymirus Isaliaris_," Ymir was visibly on the floor, knocked out, a sliver of saliva coming from her mouth and a half eaten bagel clutched in her hand. "As it will search for the person who inflicted it, and perhaps do some….things… to them later on."

A grunt came out of Ymir's throat.

"I am Christa Lenz, and this,"

Dramatic pause. Deep breath.

"**_Was Christa V.S. Titan._**"

She looked around and sighed once, pushing the strands of her blond hair her out her face.

"Where the fuck is the fucking chair at though."

_Bzzt._


	2. ON: She still owes me money

_Bzzt. Shkshk._

"This." The camera blurred for an instant before the cellphone focused onto a girl, on a big brown sofa with sheets of blankets all around her, like if she was a newborn taco. "Is the Kristaisagoddessus in her natural habitat. After she dropped and destroyed the last camera on the ground."

"It was an accidennnnnt…" Christa moaned, her bright blue eyes looking right at the camera, similar as big puppy eyes.

Ymir gulped, trying not to melt in front of that exposure of cuteness. The reason why she wasn't in the video was because she still hadn't learned how to do a selfie, but it didn't bother her because she could still take pictures of the goddess without her stupid presence tainting it.

"Just because you are doing that face doesn't mean that I can forgive you. You owe me money."

_Ugh, just marry me already._

"I'm not falling for that."

Krista stared at her, looking awfully like a chick in a nest.

"I'm not."

Christa continued staring, her long pale eyelashes fluttering once in a while.

At this point, camera started to tremble violently. "I'm…. not…." It was audible that it was done through clenched teeth, and perhaps _with_ hella red cheeks.

A few more seconds.

Apparently giving up on the mission of resisting the ball of fluff that was over there, Ymir gently put the new cellphone on the counter next to her goddamn pretty girlfriend , and ran furiously towards Christa, basically jumping on the frail lady on her way to victory.

"**_SOFUCKINGCUTEFUCKSHITSTOPBEINGSOFREAKINGCUTEJUSTMARRYMEALREADYYOULITTLECUTEBASTARDFUCKFUCKINGRICHGIRLSANDTHEIRFUCKINGSHITFUCKCUTEASFUCKKAWAIITOTHEMAXHELLA_**."

Though the violent cursing woman was motorboating Christa with passion, Historia put her hands her dark hair with a soothing expression, like if she was drinking damn tea or something.

"Get a room you two." A person on the apartment upstairs yelled out.

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BALDY."

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME?!"

"YOU HEARD ME! YA GONNA GET WORSE THAN THA' YAEGER KID!"

"You two, stop it." Krista's calm voice rang out, enunciating it clearly so that both parties could hear it. "All the neighbors will hear."

"I'M NOT EVEN THAT BALD Y-"

Christa sighed, and smiled once again, even brighter than before. "Please, both of you. Shut the hell up." She said, with an unnaturally threatening tone. "Unless you both want freaking toothpicks up your arses, I reckon that you should do that."

"Yes ma'am."

Ymir reached for the cellphone and it flickered a bit, showing her bluish tint on her face for half a second. The expression on her face was enough to know what horror just happened in the last minute.

"Oh," The cellphone stalled for a moment. "I have other plans for you."

_Bzzt._

* * *

**Ymir got bottomed again. Guess she's a senpai in the streets and kouhai in the sheets.**


	3. OFF:Visit

_**This one is less humorous. SsooooOOOOOOooo.**  
_

* * *

_Tap._

"Is this on?"

_Tap. sRHghshhsh._ It fell on the ground, and got picked up right away, after a bit of scrambling.

"I do not think so. It seems highly unlikely that you can use a piece of technology."

"What's this?"

_Tap. Tap._

"Ah. It seems that you realized how to open this."

"You see, Mikasa!" Sasha said with enthusiasm, her face lighting up. "I'm not a country bumpkin!"

"… Here's a potato."

"Yay!"

"…Whose camera is this? I thought Christa only had a cellphone." The electronic object sailed through the air to land into Mikasa's palm, her face finally coming into view. She looked exactly the same, her bright brown eyes looking right into the camera, albeit her long hair and a simple white shirt.

Between the long period of silence, there were only crunching and munching to be heard.

"Sasha."

"YEmsmogh?"

"A bit quieter please."

"Orkray…"

"Hmmmm…" Mikasa paused for a second and threw it at Sasha once again, knocking against her forehead, making a terrible crack sound. She had expected the girl to catch it.

"What was a- that for?"

"…You sound like Mario."

"Weeh?"

Mikasa patted Sasha on the head, the camera falling off Sasha's thighs. "I'm sorry." She smiled gently. It thumped on the floor with a loud smack. "I'm going to buy you some food after this meeting."

The potato girl never saw a kind of smile on that face before, as she only saw her smile like that to Eren.

"WAIT WHAT THE FU-" Heavy footsteps clattered and skidded over the vinyl floor. Drops of water were heard in the short distance away from the couch. The voice yelling was evidently Ymir's. "POTATO GIRL DID YOU JUST DROP THAT CAMERA!?"

"YES!" Sasha yelled enthusiastically, putting her fists up in the air with tears bordering her eyes. When she realized her BAD BAD mistake, and slowly turned her head, fear establishing in the bottom of her heart. Fuck.

Ymir's glare was scary enough to make potato girl use Mikasa as a human shield and shiver in fear. The human shield didn't have the same reaction however. She just sat there, looking back at the scary lady with an aloof look.

"Move." She said, uttering menacingly. A dark shadow surrounded her features.

Mikasa didn't move. What a rebel. Instead, she pointed behind Ymir. "Ah." She muttered, expressing her surprise as her eyebrows went up a bit.

The other girl didn't really fall for it, knowing that it was A TRAP. She played that card every time she went face to face with her in a combat situation. The instincts. The instincts were too strong. Falling for it, she looked at where she pointed and almost immediatly received a naked foot to the face, if she didn't dodge it with a quick swipe of her arm.

The camera flew back a dozen centimeters to the right, after Ymir lightly pushed it to the side with her foot.

"Don't try to attack people when they weren't the person who dropped it."

"I didn't want to attack the potato girl over there; I just wanted to give to her a piece of my mind." She patted her arm, pretty sure that there's going to be a mark there soon enough. Sasha was distractedly eating the potato in her hand at the same time.

"Knowing your wretched personality, it's the same thing."

"IT'S NOT."

Mikasa was giving her an incredulous look. They both had a staredown for a few minutes before Ymir broke her gaze away, tired.

"Geezus, why do these things always happen to me." The woman sighed, again, trudging noisily to the camera. She putted it up on the counter with a smooth motion.

_Click._

Straightening up, she dried her hair with the towel on her shoulders. Ymir glanced at the strong lady.

"So, what's the potato teen doing here."

"She's not a teenager anymore. Sasha is 18."

"Yeah, I figured. Same as Christa. Still living with you?"

Giving a nod of the head, Mikasa went back to the couch, sitting next to her protégé.

"Why are you here, if you don't have any trouble with paperwork and stuff- I know I'm the goddamn person who let you in, but I'm pretty sure it's not to test my abrasive personality."

"I'm here for Christa."

"AH?" Ymir was getting animated. Her eyes glinted menacingly.

_She's 18. You don't have to protect her- she's a grown woman._

"Not for frick fracking or anything of the sort, don't worry. We're just going to talk." She reassured Ymir, knowing of her overprotective personality (LOOK WHO'S TALKING) regarding Christa.

"Ah."

Sasha leaned in and whispered in Mikasa's ear. "What's-a frick fracking?"

"You are too young to learn about that, Mario."

Retracing her steps, Ymir strode to the kitchen, which was a few feet away from the camera.

"She's gonna come out in a few minutes." She hollered, with a dead pan tone. The refrigerator opened under her light touch, humming as the freckled woman scanned the few items in the fridge with her eyes.

...

..

..

..

Christa turned away and walked back into the room.


	4. OFF:Too soft

_ ._

_What is she doing here? I thought we had a deal?_

Christa closed the door behind her with a soft noise. The light from the window illuminated her room, glowing slightly in the morning sun.

_Relax. She's probably not here for me, right? It must be something else? _

The little blond girl bit her lip, trying to remain calm. Her heart however, thumped without any restraints. She did not believe her own words, which were supposed to be convincing her, but made her even more nervous than before. Clutching her arm, she stood there for a minute than moved to the side, slowly.

Heading for the window, she leaned over it. The grey towel over her shoulders slipped, dipping to the right side of her arm. She examined the numerous high buildings in the horizon, her grip tightening on the cracked wooden border of the window. The sun shone onto the face of the glass, glinting from time to time. Haze shimmered from the buildings, nearing the ground.

She breathed out, trying to calm herself.

_In. Out. In. Out._

With a trembling hand, she twisted the knob of the window open, the old metal squeaking. Suddenly, a fresh gust of air entered the warm room, chilling her moist hair.

_What am I going to do..?_

Finally deciding what she was going to pick out of the fridge, Ymir took out a lukewarm bottle of beer, which was probably expired- But hey, beer is beer.

At this time, Christa would've been out and greeting the two annoying pip squeaks over there- she glanced at the people on the couch, though the crazy ass woman was looking at the Potato, who was watching T.V., probably wasting electricity.

_Bah, she's a good kid. Though all her shit fuss over food is kinda annoying._

Trusting the kid not to watch any bad stuff (Mikasa wouldn't let her watch Hell's Kitchen anyways, due to the emotional trauma), Ymir went hunting for the small girl, whose presence was not with her, even when she had said that she was going to come in, after she had finished arranging the bed- which she didn't need to, 'cause it was pointless. Why do it when they were going to frick frack at night?

She popped off the top of the bottle and drank one third's of it in one gulp. Striding towards the back end door, at the right side, Ymir knocked once on the door and entered.

"Christa." She muttered, the water drops sliding down her face. The young woman stood in the sunlight, staring outside. Light distorted around her, making her oversized shirt look like a small cute dress.

She reminded herself that it was _her_ oversized Games of Thrones shirt she was wearing._  
_

_IT WAS CUTE AS FUUUUCK._

_MARRY ME ALREADY YOU LIL SH-_

"Ymir?" The girl in question intonated, breaking the nice silence. It startled Ymir, who was off fantasizing in her own world, like having adopted children with Christa where they would live in a huge mansion where she didn't have to worry about rent or food going on sale without having the notice of it.

"Marr-" She almost yelled out and stopped in time. "Visitors." _Nice save there, Ymir._ She congratulated herself, wanting almost to high five her own hand.

"I know." Christa didn't seem surprised; no emotions covered this facet of her personality.

Immediately, she spotted something wrong in her comportment. Didn't seem very thrilled to see Mikasa (And Potato girl), wasn't she?

"Is there something that I should know?" Ymir asked, crossing her arms. Anything that goes on in her house should be known by her.

"…No."

_Liar._

"Christa. Tell me." She tried to demand, her light hazel eyes riveting onto the girl.

With a smirk, the stood on her toes and pecked her freckled cheek, bopping her nose with her finger.

_The kiss's hella warm._

She didn't know it was her face that was.

"It's nothing." Christa smiled, tilting her head on one side. Better not to get Ymir into her affairs. "C'mon, let's not keep them waiting."

As Ymir watched the small girl exiting the room with light steps, she promised herself to make her spout out the information.

_Damn it, I got too soft….. _

Groaning, she shuffled her damp hair and followed after her, sipping her bitter beer with a frown.


	5. OFF:Ymir says the magical word

Mikasa perceived the blonde girl in her range of motion.

_I would have thought she would have refused to come out…_

Nevertheless, the 20 year old woman didn't flinch at the blond girl's arrival, and instead just muttered a small "ah". Her mouth twitched, in a polite smile. She didn't particularly feel happy today, if you must know.

She knew that Sasha's eyes wouldn't detach from the television until the Top Chef Episode ended, which would not be soon. Gordon Ramsay had an uncanny ability to make her nervous for the contestants.

Now for the matter at hand. She rose up, the soft cushions bouncing slightly under the force at her palms.

Ymir looked a tad bit drunk behind Christa, slightly slurring her words she said to Christa, trying to goad whatever she always tried to do out of people.

_I've seen worse. _"Hello, Christa." Mikasa said, ignoring the swears of the angry man on the screen without much difficulty_._

The look that she gave her was grave, which was to be expected….. No niceties would come from one who contributed to her fate, after all.

_ I would have a worse glare if I was in that situation._

" No. No. I'm fine." Christa responded to Ymir's worries, shaking her head, and turned towards her once again. "Let's talk in the bedroom." She said to Mikasa, without a second look at her.

_I wonder if Sasha is going to eat 100$ worth of food again… She better not. _

Without a word, Mikasa trailed after the girl, sneezing once on the way to the room.

_I wonder if someone is talking about me right now…_

* * *

5 minutes went past.

Ymir picked the slim camera between her fingers. Observing it for a moment, she put it down, staring down at it for a long period of time. It was obviously new, the camera slick and clean cut, the LCD screen glossy, probably touch screen, but…

_Fucking pink. Who would buy a fucking pink camera? _She obviously thought about Christa first, being the awful girly girl she was. _Nah, her favourite's color sky blue._ She chuckled but still, she watched it carefully, curious about whom owned it. A wandering thought floated into her mind. _She doesn't have the money for it. Then what if- Fuck. Stop thinking, Ymir. _Jealousy was an idiotic thing to do; it's something the idiot (Connie) upstairs had.

_Oh well, it's mine now. _With a sly smile, she drank the last drop of her beer, the liquid warm and smooth on her tongue, and slid it on top of the coffee table, scraping a bit of the wood along with it.

Stretching herself on the old weathered couch, she stared a few minutes at the flickering television before getting instantly bored at the sweating people trying to cook food within a 30 second lapse of time, now that she was more sober.

"Potato girl, give me the remote." She asked as nicely as she could.

"Why?" Potato girl responded, still fixated on the T.V. show.

"Because the guy in the blue shirt is going to lose."

Sasha stared at Ymir for a few seconds.

"Are you sure?" She whispered fearfully.

"Of course, I'm fucking sure, this is a rerun." Ymir replied, even if she's not interested in this bullshit. THERE WAS NOTHING ON THE T.V. THAT DAY OKAY IT WAS A MISTAKE.

"BUT HE'S AN ASS-"

Suddenly, a scream reverberated in the apartment, making both of them jump of their skin.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Somebody yelled in the other room, echoing through the tight hallway.

* * *

Christa, realizing her dumb mistake, covered her mouth with her hand, cursing slightly under her breath.

Mikasa was a bit abashed at that giant explosion of rage. If she was surprised, she didn't let her see. "No, I am not fucking kidding you." The calm woman stated, matter-a-factly.

The little girl slowly lowered her hand, her face pale like a sheet. Her fist tightened, her nails digging in her skin. She bit her lip, drawing a small amount of blood out of it. The taste of metal and bitterness flowed in her throat.

_Bitter. Yes. That's how I'm feeling. _

There was a long silence.

"So, did you come here to tell me that, or is there something else." She muttered, her voice dry and unfriendly. Any hints of a normal conversation disappeared once she heard of the news. She tried arguing against it, denying it…. _Mikasa didn't do anything to me, heck, she wanted probably to warn me, so stop being such a bigot, Christa._

She just couldn't help herself.

"No." She responded, still unsmiling. "I do hope that the news will never come true, for your own sake."

* * *

"What are they talking about?"

"Dunno."

"Can you hear them?"

"No." _Fuck, I don't have fucking ears that can hear through walls, dipshit._

"What are they talking about?"

"Why don't you go over there to find out?" Ymir grunted, eyeing the potato girl with an annoyed glare. Hell, she was curious too; it's not like the scream that Christa (She is the best placed to know how her screams are like) was without reason either.

"I don't want Mikasa to scold me." Sasha muttered, shoving her head in the white pillows, her lips forming a pout.

"Can't believe that you're the same age as Christa." She muttered, resisting the incredible urge to twirl her eyes and sigh out of exasperation. _She acts just like a child. _It didn't bother her much though.

_Click._

Ymir swore softly as she heard the brass knob clicking, and some twisting. _Dammit, I was going to go eavesdrop._ She glanced towards Sasha who had already had her attention bracketed on the television._  
_

Christa opened the door, lifting her eyes off the ground. She looked tired. And sad.

"Finished?" Ymir said, cocking her head towards the hallway,"It was a short convo."

"Yeah..." _  
_

Leaning on her right fist, the tall woman glimpsed at Christa, several times, checking on her. She wasn't moving out of her place, only staying there, motionlessly.

_She's upset. WAIT. IS SHE? _

_Oh my god, I'm sure she thinks that I'm a dork._

Christa started tearing up.

_sHE'S CRYING?! _The dark haired pervert began sweating heavily, her cheeks rosy._ SSSHHHCalm down, Ymir. You're the man, you can do this. You're the man. HAKUNA YOUR TATAS. _

With heavy breaths, she motioned to Christa to come near her. Dragging her feet on the white carpet, she trudged herself to where Ymir was and collapsed on her chest. The freckled girl blushed furiously to that sudden contact of _**amazing **_(This is not the time, Ymir) and straightened Christa up, so that her face was on her chest and her body against hers.

She felt the soft tears and the slow rythmic sob that made Christa's breath fluctuate. Gulping, her fingers slid into her golden hair as she inclined towards her head and whispered something.

"I-I like like you." _OhmygawdIsaidit._

Feeling Christa's breath stopping for a second, and continuing on normally, without a little hiccup. She felt her smile. "Say that a bit louder."

"I like like you." She repeated, looking elsewhere like if there was a bug continuously whirling in a round circle in the air.

"Dork." The blond girl turned around, wiping the tears off her cheeks to hide the huge smile.

With a satisfied grin, Ymir cradled Christa between her arms, caressing her hair once in a while.


	6. AfterOFF: Ymir says the magical word

"I've told her." The dark haired woman said, in the glowing sheen of her cellphone, her face unemotioneless in the blue hue.

She clicked on the red glowing button on her cellphone, without waiting for an answer. The wooden floorboards creaked under each of her footsteps, crackling as she made her way back to the salon.

_They deserve better than this. _Her grip tightened on her slim phone.

But she knew it was never going to happen.

Clamping her pink lips, she entered the lighted area, not near surprised at the scene she was presented with.

Knowing her caretaker was there, looked up to her and grinned, "Ymir and Christa are sleeping." Sasha said, with a happy ting to her voice, like if she recharged on something while Mikasa was gone. Putting a finger on her lips, she observed the two peaceful faces for a moment.

A fraction of a minute.

Christa snored loudly, breaking the sound silence they were in. Ymir grunted not a second later, pulling her closer to her body.

It seemed so unfair…Seeing themrest like this without a care of the world.

Ripping her gaze away, she breathed quietly, gripping her arm with her slender fingers.

"Let's go, Sasha." She said with a tone of finality, brushing her strands of dark hair over her ear.

"Yay!" The little woman jumped from the couch, and hurried to her side, encircling Mikasa's arm with her own. "Where do we go now?"

"Where ever you want, Mario."

"That nickname again!"

Ignoring the words of Sasha about the things that would come if she called her Mario again, they both left.

_If I can't make them happy, at least I can make this one count._


	7. ON: FFS, Christa

"Hey Christa, want to play this game?" Ymir stated, tapping on the laptop screen at a certain text post. Her legs were crossed together, her body snuggled in a thick blue blanket, even if it was 32 degrees Celcius outside.

"Are you on Tumblr again?" Her girlfriend voiced cheekily, hovering above her on the tip of her toes. She leaned over her shoulder and pecked her cheek. "Oh, you hipster."

"I'm not a goddamn hipster, alright?" The woman grumbled and clicked on the reblog button, making the dashboard flicker for a moment. It was apparent that Ymir was hipster as hell, it's just that she didn't want to admit it.

"You like to drink coffee, listen to indie music, wear loose clothing and take artsy fartsy pictures of nature."

"They're not artsy farsty." Ymir argued, urging the small blonde on her lap, wrapping her arm around her neck. The young lady obliged and comfortably rested her head onto her chest. "I only take pictures of beautiful things." _Like you._

Cringing at her own cheesy thoughts, she reblogged the post and scrolled down, pointing towards it with her mouse. "ANYWAYS. Here's the post."

With slight disinterest, Christa hung her head on the side, puffing her cheeks unwillingly. Under Ymir's silence and continuous unstoppable tickles, her eyes finally strained upon the white box. "A game where two players kiss without stopping and without touching each other. If one person touches the other s/he loses. The winner gets to do whatever s/he wants to do to the loser." The devious devil in Christa laughed out in evilness. "You want to play this?"

"I-if you want to…" Ymir sputtered, turning her head the other way. Christa stifled a laugh. Her dorkiness was so cute.

"Alright." Christa swept the tears out of her eyes and got off Ymir, clasping her hands at her back. "So if I win you're gonna do anything I ask, right?"

Something told her that she was planning something devious. "Yeah." Ymir blinked, staring back at the girl at eye level.

Leaning in, Christa pressed her soft lips against hers, stifling what words she was going to say next. Ymir closed her eyes, clamping her sweaty hands together.

The long smooch lasted a few minutes, the sounds of kissing and the undeniable urge of to touch each other lingered in the air. Until Christa decided unbutton her own white shirt, her fingers gliding on the buttons smoothly.

Unfortunately (Fortunately?) Ymir heard those rhythmic sounds and immediately began to panic.

_WAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT_\- _IS SHE STRIPPING?!_

One of her eyelids opened tentatively, out of curiosity.

Her heart thumped at what felt like 174 km/h once she saw the lacy bra under her shirt, pale white skin contrasting with its dark tone, her silver necklace sliding on her collarbone.

That was the moment she knew she lost.

_Bzzt._

The sunlight blinded the lenses momentously.

The view cleared up a few seconds later, to let see a grumpy sweaty tall woman standing in front of a dark green coffee shop, glasses on her nose while .

"…reaking Star bucks." Ymir said under her breath, her hands tucked in her blue jeans. Brown hair in her trademark low ponytail. Her tank top was baggy, to Christa's sadness. Tight shirts fitted her bosom better.

The beeping and yelling in the streets made it hard to hear her words, that the little woman had heard clearly. "Whaddaya want to go in here anyways?"

"Because. I won the bet." Christa stated, looking straight at the camera while looking immensely happy with herself.

"YOU CHEATED!" She groaned, her frown demonstrating her frustrated emotions.

Christa turned the camera towards herself with a slight smile, tipping her shades back. "Ymir lost of game of "Too hot" and now she's grumpy."

"IT'S BECAUSE YOU STRIPPED IN FRONT OF ME-"

"Hush. I won fair and square."

"LIES."

As a sign of rebellion, Ymir forced the camera towards her (Though it cut right under her eyes, demonstrating her inability to aim the cellphone properly) and stuck out her tongue towards it.

"STOP THAT!" Christa playfully slapped Ymir on the hand.

"I DEMAND A REMATCH!" The woman boomed, putting her hand on her hip, straightening her back like the awesome warrior she was.

From Christa's angle, it just put on display her breasts. She didn't mind that.

"I lost once. You lost three times." The gentle lady smirked. She didn't mention that they all ended up in intense frick fracking though.

"REMATCH!" She demanded, her freckles slightly quivering, a crimson blush covering her cheeks.

Her little girlfriend just giggled and glanced at the camera, making her sunglasses fall unto her blue eyes once more. Grumbling, Ymir ruffled Christa's hair in frustration and spun around, striding towards the coffee shop.

They climbed the few steps to the door, opening it with a push. Bells tinkled overhead as they entered the shop, the cellphone wavering at each small footstep. Several tables were sprinkled around the counter, some people already occupying them, chattering away.

"There's already a line." Ymir moaned, scratching her head. "Why are we here again?" She asked,

Christa aimed the cellphone up into Ymir's face and muttered in a grumbly british accent. "Because of the coffee, Ymirsaurus."

"Don't tell me you're going to make me order a drink with that silly name. It's as worse as Ymirus Isaliaris!"

"…" A muffled laughter behind the camera was all to confirm her hypothesis. "Well, I couldn't make you do anything too bad, couldn't I? (And that Ymirus Isaliaris is too long)." Christa clarified to the abashed woman.

"Well, fuck. " She sighed, flicking the cellphone away from her face. "They already spell my name wrong, for fuck's sake..."

he camera blurred, zooming in Christa chuckling ominously, who exaggerated her voice to imitate who knows what.

"Christa, you are not an evil mastermind."

"I am!" She bubbled, reeling the cellphone to Ymir, who seemed unimpressed by that laugh.

Watching Christa for a moment, she exhaled heavily.

"Hey! I am! Really!"

"What do you want to get?" Ymir put her fist on Christa's head, (The camera shook when she did.) trying to find the pause button to her ridiculous mastermind claims.

"A White chocolate mocha." Christa glimpsed left and right. There was only one table of two seats left. "I'll go get a table. To your mission, 007!"

_Bzzt._

_Bzzt._

The few first seconds were soundless, as the cellphone chattered around with an unsteady hand, the place projected in a orange glow under the lights.

"Ymir is in front of the line." Christa whispered to the camera, zooming in onto the back of the tall brunette.

"Uh, I want a White Chocolate mocha, Tall, and Hot chocolate classic, Tall."

The guy dressed all in green didn't flinch in front of that brash order. "Okayyyy…" He typed in numbers on the cash register. "What's your name?"

She could see Ymir hesitating. And it made her laugh like you wouldn't believe. "Ymirsaurus." Finally, the word came out of her mouth.

The man had to do a double take. "What?"

"Ymirsaurus."

"Emirsaurus?"

"No. Ymirsaurus. Y. not E." Ymir was struggling to remain polite, creating a shape of a Y in mid air so that the young guy could understand better what she meant.

With a simple nod, he redirected her to where Christa was so that the next customers could make their order, with the small blondie scrambling around so she could shut off the camera in time.

_Bzzt_.

Ymir slid in the chair, basically putting her arms on the length of the round table.

"…..Are you alright?" Because now she looked like she got shot in the stomach and the only way to save her was to hold on to the table desperately.

With that, she whined theatrically, audible to only her uber gay girlfriend.

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad." Historia tried to sympathize, but it was pretty hard when you were dying of laughter.

"You just want to see how he's going to spell it, aren't you?"

"Yep!"

After a moment of silence, Ymir glanced at the girl, fiddling with her fancy black camera ("IT'S A CANON EOS 6D!" The enthusiast yells in protestation). "It's the first time you smiled this much after Mikasa told you…. whatever she told you."

"Really?" Christa hadn't noticed that. Now that she remembered, she didn't feel like laughing anymore.

"Yeah." She asserted, clicking the on and off button repeatedly, without any sign of stopping in sight. "Truthfully, I like it when you smile." Realizing what she said sounded incredibly cheesy, she tried to redeem herself by staring at the floor. "…It looks better on camera…. You know. "

While the blondie wanted to cry out AWWWWWWW and hug her, a heavy weight settled on her shoulders, making her unable to perform that action. What would happen if she discovered the thing that Mikasa told her?

A silence ensued with that comment.

"Hey." Her gruff and deep voice rang out in the open.

Christa gazed up to Ymir, wondering what she was up to.

However, the only thing in front of her was the muzzle of a camera.

_Ka-chak. Ka-chak._

"HEY!" The petite woman reddened and backed away, covering her face with her hands.

_Ka-chak. Ka-chak._

Ymir then proceeded to look at the screen, pressing a button, scrolling through the pictures she just took with a straight face, even under the little punches (They felt like pats) that Christa was giving her, babbling about how she didn't warn her before taking those pictures and that next time Christa would wake her up in the middle of the night while her hair would be goofy and take a photo there with flash on. Ymir ignored those hassles with a twirl of her eyes.

"I told you." The culprit muttered, contemplating the smooth surface, bending her chair backwards to avoid the small fists of Christa. "You look better with a smile."

"Delete them!"

"Nope. I'm going to use them as a bargaining tool." Ymir went on, with a toothy grin. Christa obviously didn't know that she was photogenic. "Oh, the lighting is nice in this picture."

"Ymiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

Although Ymir kept a calm demeanor while being nagged on by Christa, it just made her even more curious about the thing that the red scarfed violent kuudere woman said to her little girlfriend. She pried in people's business more than a dozen of times, this one wouldn't make a large difference.

Soon after, the barista called out her name, snapping her attention back to the real world.

_Bzzt._

"The moment of truth." Ymir said, at the exact moment Christa whipped out the camera from her bra.

She rose up and paced over to the receiving area, seizing the two steaming cups from the counter. The camera zoomed in on the cups, that Ymir inclined over so to see the name written in black marker on the side. Once she had finished reading it, she stayed there. Without moving a muscle.

"Ymir!" Christa cried out to shake her from her stupor.

The woman jerked out of surprise and came back, looking like if someone hit her in the face with a hammer.

"So?" The curious girl asked, "How'd he spell it?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeahmisaurus."

"YEAHMI-"

"Yeah. Misaurus."

"YEAH FOR THE BOOTY!"

"CHRISTA."

"MI FOR OH MY!"

"_**CHRISTA**!_"

"SAURUS FOR BEAR GRYLLS!"

"How the hell does that work?!"

"MISAURUSYEAH!"

"Oh my fucking god." Ymir put her hand on her face, groaning loudly. With her other hand, she reached for the cellphone, due to her embarrassment.

_Bzzt._

* * *

And Christa never let her forget that someone, in the universe, called her Yeahmisaurus.


	8. ON: Competition

_Bzsfaiuosfhoiuashfoiahsf-_

"Is it on?" Ymir asked, behind the camera, her tone muffled by the cloth of Christa's shirt.

"Yep."

Unwillingly, with the sound of ruffling sheets and some awkward bumping when Ymir rolled over in front of the camera, she didn't know how to pose and stood there with her feet tucked under her butt, the camera more or less focused on her.

"Um." She began, wiping the lipgloss off her cheek with a clumsy drunk hand. "So."

Christa's feet poked out of the bottom of the camera, adorably, which Ymir thought was terribly cute, because you know, stuff.

The face Ymir just did was horribly cute too. In Christa's opinion.

"Um." She repeated, now with a broken English accent. "You know that on the other side of this very wall, there is two stupid homos (kind of like us) over there who lives."

"Reiner and Berthold."

"Two tall stupid homos." Ymir clarified. Smirk.

"_AAHH_-" The camera picked up a sound, just a tone under Ymir's.

"Annnnnnnd that explains it. Backupbackupbackupbackup-" Ymir made an inaudible scream before tripping and falling off the bed with a clatter, bringing the bedsheets and a lamp with her.

"**BERTHOLD!"** Reiner's high gruff voice yelled through the wall.

"Ahn! Ahn!"

Christa flipped over and began giggling so hard that the cellphone slipped off her slender fingers and she laughed maniacally, shoving her face in the pillows. The screen fizzed when it fell down in Ymir's hand, who was DAMN SURE THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT THIS CELLPHONE TO BREAK EVEN IF IT WERE HER LAST BREATH.

Seriously. It cost her a finger.

Bumping ensued on the wall, the floor vibrating under the thumps on the other side of that FORBIDDEN territory.

"I want to change apartments." The lens was pointed upwards on the ceiling, the camera fogging up by Ymir's groans of disgust, trying to cover up the moans of pleasure of the two homos who were loudly proclaiming their love.

"….Maybe." Christa finally said, her little gasps making Ymir flush.

Then something popped into her mind.

"Hey." Ymir said, finally sitting up, aiming its muzzle in Christa's face. That photogenetic thingy she did was so fucking awesome, geez. Fuck. It's like sparkles just materialized in mid air for that sole purpose.

"Yeah?" Her dumb cute face cocked on the side, like a fucking cute fuck. _Man, it's so fucking cute I don't even._

"You know what we should do?"

"What?" Christa shifted over and looked at her dorky girlfriend with her clear blue eyes, demanding an explanation.

Realization fawned onto her when Ymir wiggled her eyebrows.

"I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!" Christa yelled enthusiastically just as the apparently not-drunk-anymore woman pulled her in her embrace.

_Bzzt._

* * *

_Knock Knock knock._

"Yellow." Ymir opened the door, yawning. As the first one up, she could get the last drop of milk before leaving it there for Christa to change it.

She stared straight in front of her for a second, not knowing if the person who pressed the button was invisible or ran away .

"Are you just mocking me?"

"Oh. Captain." Ymir peered downwards to the small landlord, who seemed to be much more annoyed now. His arms were crossed over from apparent anger and he had dark bags under his eyes.

"General meeting of this entire floor at 10."

"This floor." Ymir repeated.

"Only this fucking floor."

"It's 9:42 though."

"You fucking heard me."

Rolling her eyeballs, she nodded and closed the door slowly, trudging her feet backwards without looking at Levi (because of his shortness).

**_-10 a.m. rolls around-_**

"- ARE HAVING SEX TOO LOUD." Levi boomed of his small stature, a vein pulsing from his pale face. He aimed that declaration to everyone who was there. "Each floors on each side of yours complained because of this."

"They started it." The tall woman bluntly said, pointing accusingly at Reiner, making Christa jolt awake. She was still sleepy and leaned on her girlfriend for support.

"I was drunk." Mikasa blinked, seemingly uninterested. Sasha was deeply confused by the situation they were in right now.

"..." Marco lifted Jean up with much difficulty.

"We just wanted to fuck." Reiner said proudly, Berthold blushing.

"I wasn't there at all, but I did hear you guys." said Eren, whose neck had tons of hickeys.

"Is everybody on that floor queer?" asked a passerby.

"Meh." said his friend, who was damn well sure they were.

"I don't want to know your reasons." The landlord righted his broomstick, glaring at everybody with his sharp grey eyes, "Just be quieter, or I'll beat all your asses." He paused. "And don't drop your shit in the hallway. I'll beat your ass twice as hard."

"Eren dropped his stuff yesterday." Jean whispered to Marco, glancing at Eren's neck.

"Fuck off, Jean."

"It doesn't really change anything, does it?"

"No, not really." Christa smiled, "Well, you topped me yesterday, so _that_ did."

"_CHRISTA_."


	9. OFF: The rent

_**Hi there! :D **_

This chapter is a bit short. But it makes for some backstory, okay?

Also, I am sorry I haven't posted in so long!

_I'M GOING TO POST MORE BELIEVE IT [FIRE GROWS IN THE BACKGROUND]_

* * *

Bzzt.

"Ymir."

"Yeah?" Ymir turned around, looking a touch annoyed. Her brown shirt was slipping down her shoulder, tanned and muscular.

"You didn't pay the rent agaaaaaiiinnnnnnnn!"

The small girl rose up a storm and makes Ymir twirl her eyes in aloofness. "Bah, I'll pay it later." Cocking her head sideways, Ymir took the time to observe Christa in her mock rage, rolling around, her cheeks puffed like an angry squirrel. She put her hand on her face to cover the blush and maintained a cool poise. " Levi ain't gonna pin it on me anyways."

"Captain!" urged her little girlfriend, seemingly even more infuriated.

"I don't need to call him captain." Christa didn't need to call the shrimp "captain" either, considering her status.

"BWEEEEEEEEHHH!"

"Just concentrate on your damn studies."

Christa grimaced,"….How can I do that when I always think of you?" She stated, in all honesty.

Ymir suddenly choked on the scalding liquid that she tried to drink in all tranquility, almost dropping her cup on the floor, surprised by the sudden cheesiness of the phrase. Her cheeks slowly burned and she glanced towards the blond girl. She remembered something similar had happened when she confessed to her (always) cute girlfriend.

The same girl took away her cup of black coffee and tried to clean the mess up, taking off Ymir shirt. She barely felt the burning liquid seeping down her fingers and her tongue.

"Wait-" Ymir took the cellphone, touching the buttons with alarming efficacity. "Repeat that."

"YMIR YOU'RE HURT."

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER!"

Christa blubbered while dabbing Ymir's face with a wet handkerchief. Of course, the latter didn't give five fucks about her burns.

"So…where was I?"

" When you were repeat what you said before?"

After getting whacked on the head with Christa's hand, she pouted, with the little woman staring at her furiously, nagging her about her job prospects in life and what not.

"I'm just _suspended_ it's not like I got _fired_."

"BUT-"

Ymir glanced at the perky blonde girl, and sighed. "Look here. Even if I don't like working under a company your dad doesn't own mean I'm going to quit, alright. And if I want to get fired may as well throw a man through a wall. Like Mikasa." Ymir tapped her chin. Bet another private force's gonna hire her soon though. Probably hers.

"How did you know about that?" She asked, probably about Mikasa.

"We are long lost enemies; of course I know." Ymir picked up the pink camera that she hadn't touched for a week now. She just now remembered about it, and hadn't even checked its insides . (If she had reached for the cup, Christa would probably smack her hand. Tch.)

"Where did you get that?"

"You didn't notice it?"

"Yes, but I thought it was yours." Christa explained, looking at the red mark on Ymir's chin with a frown.

Ymir had that sort of inexplicable expression on her face, which was explained briefly as "_Christa, it's pink._"

"Whose is it then?"

"I picked it up in the streets." She replied, clicking on the button, the pink camera lighting up in a white glint.

Christa, with a pillow between hers arms, lied on Ymir's lap. "You know, you should give it to the owner one day."

"I picked it off the streets, it's mine."

"Ymir isaliarus."

"Christa isagoddessus?" Ymir squinted at the white logo and watched it clear away, tapping the icon to scroll in the pictures, glancing at the blond girl.

"You should give it back."

"BUT FIRST-" I HAVE TO CHECK ALL THE PICTURES TO SEE IF THERE'S NOT ANY CONSPIRACY."

"NO DON'T DO IT."

"200 ONLY? Aw." Scrolling fast through the pictures, Ymir just pouted, blocking Christa's hits lightly with her other hand. "As far as I can tell, they're decent."

"Most people are normal, you know." She sighed, stopping her attacks.

Going back and forth between the photos, she eventually gave up trying to find the identity of the person who owned the machinery. How anti-climatic. With a sleigh of the hand, the camera slid on the dark coffee table.

A few second later, Christa snuggled up into Ymir's arms, peeking up to her face to see if her burn was fine again. Ymir was rubbing her chin with her thumb, snorting. Observing her features for a moment, Christa sighed.

"I guess the rent is going to have to wait."


	10. ON: Mikasa learns

**Goddang, it's been too long since I've posted something. Somewhere around 3 months, I believe? **

**I probably should post a lot more... (._.")**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Bzzt_.

Sasha was a few feet from the camera and she smiled cheekily. Christa was holding it, her thumb covering a third of the lens, dropping her pencil which softly landed on the carpet. Moving her homework to the side, she smiled and took a reporter air, whipping her hair to the side. Sasha snapped her fingers and leaned back. Connie was next to her, looking a bit excited yet scared, clasping his hands together.

"So…" Connie asked warily, "Where's the other one?"

Sasha put the back of her hand dramatically to her forehead, closing her eyes. Her hand slid on the tabletop, over the books and empty packages. Suddenly, her hand slid over the corner and under the coffee table. After a few moments of hesitation, Sasha pulled out a gun and blew the dust off of it.

The bald headed adolescent squinted. His finger was hovering above the gun. "I knew Mikasa was hardcore but..."

"This is not the only one though." Christa clarified.

"Her place is pretty small…How much more can you find?" Connie instantly regretted asking that question when both women in front of him grinned. He gulped down a ball of saliva and continued hesitantly."I-I mean there can't be that much right?"

"This is a mission for….Christa Lenz VS TITAN!" Christa stood up, whipping out a black mustache and plastering it under her nose. "Even if it's not about titans." She added, after a brief pause.

"Where did the mustache come from?"

"Follow me!" Christa strutted off, with somewhat long strides for her size.

The small blond girl just trumped ahead, scurrying around, aiming the camera in the corners and whatnot. Finally, her eyes lingered on a spot and she turned dramatically to the camera, her left hand under the kitchen sink. She scrunched her eyebrows together and stared at the cellphone, the lens zooming in on her face.

"Shotgun!" She whispered, pointing the gun taped to the back, "now for the next one!" She scampered off, although Sasha was leading her. The camera shook and vibrated by how they ran, until they came to a stop, through the hallway.

At this point, the video sped up 3 times faster and then slowed down when Sasha was pointing towards at a closet.

"So this is the 14th one, correct?" The girl behind the camera questioned Sasha.

"Affirmative." The brown hair girl nodded, sporting a bowl hat, opening the closet door with a clatter. "And the biggest one!" She added a few seconds later, with a wide grin.

She reached inside the dark closet, and rummaged around the fluffy coats and boots, ducking completely inside it. After a minute or two of searching, her movements stopped. "FOUND IT!" Her yelling was muted by the big amass of cloth.

"What is it?"

"THIS…!" Sasha grunted and came out practically leaping, holding a sword between her hands. It was decidedly, bigger than herself.

"Is that a broadsword? " Connie looked pale, like if he saw his life flash before his eyes.

"She can even lift it in one hand!" Sasha put the tip of the sword resting on the wall, careful not to implant it into it.

"The Mikasaestucasa is as strong as the legends have told." Christa acquiesced, nodding the cellphone, blurring the image for a second.

Again, Sasha lifted up the sword above her head with an hmph, hefting the heavy object with two hands.

And slipped backwards.

A small piece of carpet could be seen flying up in the bottom of the screen, as Connie reached out for the sword.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk-" Connie yelled out in slow motion, his hand barely touching the hilt of the weapon.

**SHUUNK. THUD. THUD.**

"FUCK." A little dust came flying up and scattered everywhere, creating a thin layer of white powder on the floor. Someone was swearing from the other side of the wall.

"Shit." Christa muttered.

Then they heard the front door opening.

_Bzzt._

_Bzzt._

"…It's a whole other different beast than the Ymirisaliaris. In fact, it is rumored that the rage the Mikasaestucasa exhibits is far greater than any monsters in the wild out there. She can also provoke avalanches and kill dozen of incapacitated fools and apartments. " She spun the camera around so that it aimed to Sasha, who was lying on the couch, looking like if she just saw the devil.

"She almost killed mee…" Connie's voice was on the other couch, the top of his head appearing in the bottom left corner of the camera.

"At least she has a coat hanger now!"

"She almost killed meee…"

Sasha flailed her arms in the air and moaned loudly in response to that statement, which could be either that she agreed to that statement or she would be one of the victims in the avalanche and/or apartments.

Before Christa could continue what she was going to say, Mikasa's head then popped out from the top of the screen, a shadow looming above her.

"OH MY GO-"

_Bzzt_.

Mikasa plucked the phone out of Christa's hand, a rosy tint to her cheeks. She wore her red scarf, although it hanged crookedly on her neck. She examined it for a second and put it back in Christa's hand. "New cellphone?"

"You gave me a heart attack."

"It's nice." She commented, crossing her arms, staring at Connie crawling away with a neutral expression.

Clutching her chest, Christa leaned back and put her cellphone on the table delicately. "You don't look so mad about the sword implanted in your wall, Mikasa."

"It was bound to happen, that or a bullet hole in Marco's wall." She simply said, crouching down, peeling off the gun off the table with a single pull. "The sword makes for a pretty decoration."

Christa heard the door opening slowly and rapidly closing. It was probably Connie running away.

"I'll pay for the damages the sword caused.." The blond girl offered quietly, thinking about the thin walls.

Mikasa dumped the gun inside a box and looked at Christa dubiously."…Pay me when you get a job." She picked up the box. "For now, you can help me get rid of the guns."

"I want to help…." Sasha meekly put her hand up.

"No."


End file.
